Meet Humphrey!

This is my cat. He is my favorite boy. He's about 27 lbs. He was 31 lbs when I got him, but he's on a special low-carb perscription cat diet now. Things are up looking up for my fatty. Just look at him....like a big babe.

Look a little closer: The NYC Subway Map.

Have you ever really taken a serious look at the NYC subway map? If you have, what do you notice about it?

I'll tell you what I see. A big penis!

That's not because I'm gay...it's because it honestly looks like a penis. I've thought this for years and I'm finally coming out with it.

Next time your on the subwary, or looking over a subway map period, noticing the following:

The island of manhattan hangs down and comes to a mushroomed point, much like the tip of a penis. To the left of Manhattan the burroughs of Brooklyn and Queens. They form a big rounded bulge like a ball sack. Above is the bronx and so forth forming the lower stomach. Looking at the NYC subway map is like looking at the profile of a mans genitals.

Coincidence? You decide.

Capital of the world? You decide.

The Camera Never Lies!

Hmm...
This is my friend Sarah.
Isn't she pretty?

Teach a man to fish....teach a man to love?

It was a few days ago. I was walking down 5th avenue and I was contemplating love and relationships. I myself am a 24 year young adult, living here in this big city, surrounded by love and relationships. Encountering it. Seeking it. Fascinated and intrigued by it. But, largely intimidated by the concept as a whole. I was thinking about these things, as well as the relationships of my close friends and family, when I chanced upon a little stone in a garden. The garden was situated out in front of one of these massive high rise apartment buildings right above Washington Square. I just barely noticed the stone in passing. Someone had taken yellow paint and written a little phrase or quote on it. It said,

"Love is like an ocean. Swim in it. But, don't drown."

How serendipitous, I thought. I continued my stoll down 5th avenue and began thinking about this statement. I repeated it in my head a few times. Tried to make sense of it. Tried to understand it. But, the only thing I could think was, what if you don't know how to swim? Who's going to teach you? Everybody has to learn to swim at some point. I would imagine most people have someone to teach them....I certainly did. So, do you need someone to teach you how to love? Can you teach yourself? I suppose some people teach themselves to swim. Maybe you can teach yourself to love. Although, I think falling in love is more of an interactive process. You, and another person....falling in love with each other. I get so overwhelmed by the prospect. Yet, I'm so impatient for it. I start to over think it as soon as I even start hanging out with someone. Who's going to teach me to calm down? Who's going to teach me to love? Who's going to teach me not to drown for that matter? What does that even mean, really? Don't drown yourself in love??? Does that mean too much love is a bad thing? Or, you can lose your sense of self in love? I don't get it. I think I'll know love when it happens, but I wonder if I'll need a little help along the way.

And here I am. Analyzing. I'm a nut.

Any thoughts?

Hot Flash!

It's 78 degrees in our apartment right now, according to the thermostat. You would think it's a frozen tundra outside with the thermostat blasting this much heat. Nope. It in the 60's. So, I'm sweating. It's January. Our thermostat is fucked! Apparently we're supposed to have control of our own heat here in the apartment. We've turned the thermostat all the way down.......as low as it will go.....and the heat seems to be getting worse. Hmm... What to do? What if I go to sleep this evening and never wake up again because I'll have boiled up and evaporated into thin air over night? What do I do then? I guess not much......because I'd be dead, right?! Or vapor. Hmm...


Burning up.

Underware vs. Underwear

I realize now, after my good friends Jacquelyn and Jen so kindly pointed out my mistake, that I've mispelled underwear in my previous blog. I'm okay with that. I've moved on. Apparently, Jacq and Jen have not. They can't see the forest for the trees. I would venture to say that the majority of people who've read that particular blog understood the general idea of what I was going for. While Jacq and Jen couldn't even make it past the title. I am not upset however. I've reconciled myself to their response. This is a free forum after all, in which everyone is free to participate as they please. With this said:


OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

I mispell words. I've done it before and I'll do it again.

I hope you'll be able to understand my primitive blogs.......and if ever there is any question, please feel to contact/ridicule and mock me with any questions or comments you might have.